Microfiction

Every hundred generations, a child is born with extraordinary abilities. Super-heroes, if they use their powers for good. Blessing or curse, I was one of those children.

The powers are great. I have the strength of five men, can run faster than a cheetah, and best of all, I can fly. But not all physical attributes are so super.

Once, I ate a bowl of pea soup. The resulting gas was not only super-stinky but super-powerful. I launched myself into the stratosphere and set off seismographs in five states.

The government called it a seismic anomaly. Right.

Based on the…

Humor

Dear Mr. Tumblebelly

I am writing in regards to your recent letter.

I understand your concern, but it is my strongly-held belief that eating our strawberry jam could not possibly be the cause of your dog turning into a cat.

Toastcoaters Delicious Jams contain only natural ingredients. The strawberry jam in question contains only strawberries, pure cane sugar, and lemon juice. None of the three ingredients is known to turn an animal from one species into another.

In fact, I have consulted with experts from the American Museum Of Natural History in New York, and they have assured me that…

Almost every day, at random times, I hear the 12-year-old girl next door practice batting. Her aluminum bat makes a distinctive “ding” sound repeatedly as she hits baseballs into a net.

I suppose some neighbors would complain about the repetitive, somewhat annoying noise. But I think back to when I was a kid, practicing guitar for hours on end. I made the same noises over and over again. My parents never once complained or told me to stop.

I am 60 now and have played guitar for almost 50 years. It has been one of the greatest sources of joy in my life.

I am thankful my parents (and neighbors — I sometimes played too loud) didn’t complain or discourage me when I was learning.

Perhaps someday, that girl next door will play professional baseball.

And I will remember those “dings.”

Humor

Sometimes, a photo will give me more than one conversation idea. I came up with three conversations for this photo and couldn’t decide which one to use. So I included all three.

WARNING: This story is mostly “self-promotion.” Although it is not a story that simply says, “Mark Starlin is great” repeatedly.

Which I would definitely consider self-promotion. I doubt anyone would argue with that. Not the “Mark Starlin is great” part. That statement is definitely arguable. My wife can set you straight on that if you have any misguided illusions of my greatness. But is it really “self-promotion” if I am promoting my writing? Wouldn’t that be “writing-promotion” or “story-promotion?”

Actually, I am self-promoting [ah, now I get it] a free weekly newsletter that contains my humor writing. So, if this…

I have reached the point in my life where I am trying to cut back on commitments — especially self-imposed ones. I published a monthly “My Favorite Medium Reads” list for three years. I still enjoy recommending stories and supporting other writers, but I have to admit, the monthly schedule started feeling like a chore. So I stopped for a while.

I’m back. I plan to continue doing “Favorite Reads” lists, but I won’t be sticking to a set schedule. Instead, they will be, hopefully, pleasant surprises. Plus, I have to admit, my reading was way down in 2020. But…