It has become evident to me that due to climate change, North Carolina no longer meets my exacting standards for year-round “nice weather.”
Therefore I submit this new plan for your approval:
We will move to Key West and live on a boat.
I will fish and write novels during the day and play guitar at night.
And you can crochet multi-colored hats with fake dreadlocks or embedded seashells to sell to tourists.
Or take interesting stock photography of colorful Key West residents, location, and events. And sailboats.
Or write a blog about living on a boat in Key West.
I will use my Photoshop and former MI-5 spy skills to create some fake cruise ship inspector badges. Then we can stealthily eat our meals onboard cruise ships while we are “inspecting” (wink, wink) them.
The rest we can make up as we go.
Please respond before North Carolina gets annexed by Canada and we can no longer escape its icy clutches.