Member-only story
Advice From Old Folks On How To Live Longer • 4
Lydia Tindodger — Age 89
I appear to have hit a wall in my attempt to get my book—Super Useful Tips To Squeeze More Days Out Of Our Meager Human Lifespan—traditionally published. It just goes to show that tradition is not always a good thing.
Like that tradition of putting a soft stick of butter on people’s pillow while they sleep, on the first day the temperature reaches 90 degrees outside. It is long past its heyday as far as I am concerned. And next summer I am going to stop doing it.
I will keep pursuing traditional publishers, but in the meantime, I will continue to share these useful tips here, one at a time, so you can savor each one. Allow them to soak in and become part of your consciousness. Then incorporate them into your lifestyle.
Here is tip number four:
If you are ever out walking and all of a sudden cans of meat start falling from the sky. Don’t waste time wondering if you’ve accidentally wandered into a secret military SPAM weapons testing zone. Or if the evil Baron Von Spamdropper is out flying his zeppelin again. Run!
The world needs more practical tips like these. Thank you, Lydia.
More advice from old folks:
