Member-only story
Advice From Old Folks On How To Live Longer • 6
Belinda Treadwater — Age 84
I naively thought a book titled Super Useful Tips To Squeeze More Days Out Of Our Meager Human Lifespan would be a no-brainer to get published. Apparently, I was wrong. Perhaps super useful books with unique subject matter are no longer valued by traditional publishers.
Although I am saddened by this revelation, I still believe these tips are worth sharing for the betterment of humankind as a whole. In fact, I feel these tips may even benefit extraterrestrial life. As long as they aren’t bug-like creatures. In which case, tips like avoid flyswatters would be more appropriate.
I may pursue self-publishing. Experts say the odds of self-publishing success are still slightly better than the Powerball Lottery. So if I self-publish and buy a lottery ticket, I should double my odds at instant riches.
In the meantime, I will continue to share these useful tips here, one at a time, so you can savor each one. Allow them to soak in and become part of your consciousness. Then incorporate them into your lifestyle.
Here is tip number six:
Don’t try to swim across the English Channel wearing chainmail.
Brilliant advice, Belinda. Thank you for that tip.
More tips from old folks: