Anna, this was very real and relatable.
While I do not suffer from depression, I do struggle with occasional “blue periods.” And I have realized that I need a creative outlet in my life to maintain my mental health. Music has been the main one for me. I started playing guitar at age 12 and it has been one of the most consistent sources of pleasure in my life. Playing guitar can actually change my mood. I also write and do an occasional comic. Being creative is my medicine.
And I love your “so what” attitude and discipline.
I have also discovered that something as simple as taking walks (preferably in nature) helps my outlook. Not watching/reading the news or going on social media always makes for a better day for me.
I am hoping you will feel a little less blue a little more often. Perhaps sky blue with a warm sun shining down on you.