I am sorry you are feeling this way, Paul. Dreams are difficult things. Sometimes we need to adjust our dreams. When I was a teen, I wanted to be a rock star. I obsessively practiced guitar and became a very good guitar player. But I never became a rock star. Which has the same odds as the lottery, I suppose.

But later I realized that what I really wanted to do was play guitar for an audience. And I have done that all of my adult life. I didn't get rich or famous, but that's alright. I have enjoyed the journey. And still do.

I wouldn't presume to give you writing or career advice. I just hope whatever you decide, it leads to contentment and joy.