Member-only story
I Became A Famous Rapper By Ordering Fast Food
The incredible story of my accidental fame and fortune at age 60
It’s fairly ridiculous to think that a 60-year old guy like me could become a hip-hop star. But America does ridiculous exceptionally well. So here I am, a big rap star. On the social media radar. My story is bizarre.
It all began at Taco Bell.
Well, that’s not exactly true. I suppose it really started in Jr. High when I discovered that I could rhyme with ease. It hit me like a breeze. While I was eating bologna and cheese.
My friend, Benny Jones, had just asked me, “Why did you pack a lunch?”
I replied, “Why do you watch The Brady Bunch?”
“Because Marsha’s foxy.”
“Well, your head is kinda boxy.”
“Eat my shorts.”
“I’d probably get warts.”
“That’s boge, dude.”
“So is cafeteria food.”
This went on for several minutes while Benny became increasingly irritated with my rhyming of everything he said. Eventually, he got up and moved to another table. I had to give him my Bachman Turner Overdrive II 8-track before he would agree to be my friend again.
