I was a traveler of both time and space.
I had seen things no one should ever see.
Things that would make anyone with a still-beating heart weep.
Yet I was compelled to continue. So I did.
I stood on a hill and looked out at the vast wilderness stretched out before me.
A land unrecognizable by civilized man.
A land covered with peculiar items of unknown origin or use.
A land full of strange, wonderful creatures.
I was afraid.
And in my terror, I raised my arms and yelled out, “I am a human!”
Then suddenly a figure like a woman, wearing a blue vest emblazoned with the name Walmart, appeared and said,
“Alright, human. You want to climb out of that shopping cart now. The store is closing in five minutes.”