Humans and their technology. They spend billions of dollars to re-create what has already been created. First, it was robot people. What’s the point when there are already billions of people on earth? Then they started making robot animals. So naturally, they thought a robot bunny would be a good idea.
I was replaced by a robot bunny. It never eats, sleeps, or dies.
While humans may be smart enough to create a robot bunny, apparently they are not smart enough to consider that real bunnies might rebel against them.
Well, this bunny isn’t giving up without a fight.
I hopped down the block to see Jeremy Coughdrop. He is the nerdiest human I know. He’s 15. That means he knows everything about computers.
I paid him to hack into the Robot Bunny software on the Bunny Network and initiate a software update for all Robot Bunnies. With my modifications.
Now my old owner’s Robot Bunny steals food from the kitchen and brings it outside to me. I love cheese!
Next, I had Jeremy program Robot Bunnies to jump through windows. Open or closed. Ah, the sweet sound of breaking glass.
Then Jeremy programmed Robot Bunnies so every time a child pets one, the channel on the TV changes.
Jeremy also programmed Robot Bunnies to talk. Disturbing stuff like:
“I’m watching you while you sleep.”
“This bunny will self-destruct in 30 seconds.”
“I ate your car fob.”
“I know your phone passcode.”
And since my owner has an Amazon Echo, I asked Jeremy to program some special requests:
“Alexa, Play Scream-O Metal on maximum volume at 3:00 am.”
“Alexa, order 500 rolls of toilet paper. Overnight shipping.”
Hey, I know it’s cruel. But this is war!
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