Humor
My Statement On “My Statement On”
I realize I am neither a current or former President of The United States. But I plan to title all my future Medium stories beginning with “My Statement On…” It seems to be working for President Obama and President Biden. Why not me?
I am hoping some readers will get confused and think I was a President at some point. It is well-known, to a few historians, that the bulk of Americans don’t know their own country’s history. They might think, “Maybe he was a President in the 70s?”
The 1970s were a wacky time for Presidents: Nixon, Ford, Starlin [wink, wink], Carter. My ruse could work.
I just want to get some of that Leader of the Free World mojo working for my Medium stories. Is that so bad?
It’s not like those guys are strapped for cash, and I am stealing their lunch money. They are doing just fine. If I borrow their latest Presidential writing catch-phrase, is that so unethical?
How else am I going to get in the Trending on Medium section? Humor and fiction are scientifically proven not to work. And I don’t read enough news (I just don’t like being depressed) to form 7-minute opinions about it.
So this is my last hope. Please don’t tell anyone. Let’s keep it our little secret.
Mark Starlin
President of The United States: 1970-something*
*Or maybe not. Google it.
