I appreciate you rescuing me from the pet store. But after six months, I am feeling a little neglected. And since you never respond to my emails, I am posting this on Medium in hopes that you will see it. If I could, I would put it in your Medium Stats. Then I know you would see it. Several times per day. But the best I can hope for is you might stumble upon it in your feed. I am tagging it Self, Politics, Productivity, and Tech to increase the odds.
Where should I begin?
I’m getting pretty tired of lettuce. Would an occasional taco be so much trouble? I see you making them every Tuesday. Making one extra wouldn’t be that hard, would it? But no, all I get is the leftover chopped lettuce. How rude.
Air conditioning in my hutch.
Sure, it’s nice and cool inside your human hutch, but it’s broiling hot out here. If you haven’t noticed, sitting at your laptop typing all day, it’s summer outside! Have mercy and pipe some of that a/c out here. Or at least let me out so I can use the pool. I’ll wear floaties, and promise not to poop in the water.
Could you turn the TV around occasionally? I know you are in there binge-watching Stranger Things. I recognize the 80s style intro music. Once you finish, how about giving me a chance. Watching Daisy, the poodle next door is getting pretty boring. Sure the first fifty times she tripped over the garden hose was funny. But now it’s just sad. I need entertainment.
How about you take a break from telling strangers how to live a better life and help me live my best bunny life. You haven’t scratched my ears or cuddled me for weeks. I am starved for attention. Maybe you should consider giving me to your niece, Sandy. She loves petting me when she comes over. Which is not enough. You should up your Auntie game and have her over more.
Those are the biggies. I don’t think they are asking too much. I am your bunny, after all. I sit out here every day, always ready to meet your cuddle needs. It would be nice if you would think about my needs also.
I just want my owner back.
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