Paul, you are a talented writer and your writing is enjoyed by many. That has nothing to do with how much you earn writing.
Earning a living writing is extremely difficult for anyone. Talent and hard work have very little to do with it. All the arts (music, art, writing, photography, etc.) are becoming devalued to the point that very few can make a living at them.
As a musican, the bulk of my income (pre-Covid 19) came from teaching guitar, not gigging. Of course, gigging has ended this year. Who knows when it will return. And most of my students have quit out of fear of Covid. If my wife was not working, we would be in a desperate situation.
If you can earn a liveable income outside of writing, be thankful. It is a blessing. You can always write for the satisfaction and love of writing. And whatever extra income it provides. And for those who appreciate it.
Those of us who are fans of your writing, will still read and appreciate it. Not earning a living writing doesn't make you any less of a writer. That is only your perception of an ideal.
Sure, we would all love to earn our living doing what we love to do, but it is a rare thing. Few of us acheive it. So what? Life should be about more than one dream or goal. Or our profession. You are still Paul Barnett and a writer regardless of how you earn money.
Why not try not trying so hard? Try writing without the thought of it earning income. Who knows what might happen.
This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I do feel for you. And I wish you all the best in life, even if that means you don't become a "professional" writer.
And remember you are loved.