Roy and Roz, sorry, but I am no longer funny (outside of my dancing. Which is unintentional.) I have decided to focus exclusively on self-help motivational technological productivity success hacking articles which will improve your health and probably land you a CEO position and make you a better writer. That’s how you rake in the big bucks on Medium (according to the big bucks rakers. Who I long to emulate both professionally and physically.) That or writing about how messed up your life was until you became a Medium Superstar Writer. My new catch phrase is “I’m totally serious!”

I will still read humor, when no one is looking—I have a repution to think about now—but I will no longer produce humorous stories to brighten people’s day. I plan to only produce big, important, funk-inducing mega-seriousness stories sure to get curated.

Being funny was fun while it lasted, but I gotta put my game face on now. Why be happy when you can make money?!

—Mark Formerly Funny Starlin
CEO of Serious Stuff LLC.