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Satire

Sick Of Human Politicians, Georgia Voters Elect Giant Peach To Senate

The first member of the Vegetable Kingdom to hold a seat

Mark Starlin
3 min readJan 5, 2021

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Fed up with the corruption, lying, and partisan nature of politics, Georgians have made an astounding political statement by using write-in votes to elect a Giant Peach to the US Senate. The Giant Peach is (debatably) the first non-human elected to the US Senate.

Legal challenges are imminent. Rudy Giuliani was being considered by the Republican Party to head the legal fight until he made the following statement.

“I am appalled that Georgia elected a giant peach to the Senate. If they were determined to elect a fruit, it should have been a big apple.” — Rudy Giuliani

Georgia residents interviewed after the election scoffed at the idea of an apple being elected.

“No self-respecting Georgian would elect an apple. This is peach country.” — Georgia resident Dan ‘The Metal Roof Man’ Grady

Republicans have since turned to day-time TV advertisements to find a suitable lawyer to head the legal…

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Mark Starlin
Mark Starlin

Written by Mark Starlin

Old bones. Young heart. Uniquely arranged words.

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