Superpowers

Reports From The Campaign Trail • 16

Porapak Apichodilok

By Mark Starlin, Independent Candidate For President

If elected, I will propose that if the world becomes overrun with troubled superheroes, that we hire them to do regular jobs super well.

Like becoming chefs who make super tasty food super fast.

Or giving super good haircuts in 30 seconds.

Or pulling up annoying trees that continuously rain pine needles and pine cones all over your yard, forcing you to spend countless hours cleaning up after them before you can mow your lawn.

Helpful stuff like that.

And I would also encourage people to quit being in awe of them. Thereby giving them superiority complexes, which we all know only contributes to their anti-social behavior.

Instead, I would ask people to invite them over to their houses to hang out and become their friends. If they find satisfaction in their work and social life, maybe half of them won’t become supervillains, and they won’t be fighting each other all the time.

Which can really mess up a city.

Previous Reports:

Talk This Way

I am running for President of The United States. Here is my announcement:

Bringing Real Change For America (Mostly Pennies And Dimes)