Member-only story
Citizens of Boringville were shocked to learn that a bug infestation had hit The Local Bakery. Bakery owner Sam Knead’s attempts to dismiss the bugs as raisins were not well received. Helen Highfalutin quickly organized a protest and made several appropriate signs with slogans such as Stop Bugging Us and Get The Bread Out.
Police were called in to disperse the unruly crowd of pastry lovers. As one protester was being dragged away, he was heard shouting, “I just wanted a bear claw!”
After a sufficient number of citations were issued and a fumigator was employed “at great expense,” The Local Bakery reopened under new management.
A line quickly formed on opening day and spilled out into the street. Helen Highfalutin was seen at the scene. When asked what she was going to purchase, she replied, “Oh, I never eat pastries. I’m just here to make sure none of the raisins move.”
New manager, Willy Bakit, was visibly pleased with the size of the crowd and broke into a funky dance. A citation for unnecessary displays of public happiness was issued, and boringness was resumed — to the relief of all.