Member-only story
The Standup Comedian Deer
It was Friday. Open mic night in the woods. Although the animals didn’t actually use microphones. And they had to perform before dark because only bats show up after dark. And they are lousy tippers.
The animals gathered in a circle, close enough to hear each other, and told jokes and stories. First up was Hoofy The Deer.
“What’s up, forest creatures? Are you enjoying winter?
“Me neither.
“When I was fawn, my mother told me, ‘Bears sleep all winter.’
“I thought, Great! I will get all the berries to myself.
“Then my first winter came. Guess what? No berries!
“How rude!
“But it’s cool. Actually, it’s cold. Too cold!
“And there is no fruit at all. No wonder bears sleep all winter.
“One winter, I was walking near the road, and I found an apple. What a treat! One of those human-moving machines must have spit it out. Anyway, I was just about to take a bite when a pretty doe walked by. She looked at me with her Bambi eyes, and the next thing I knew, I was sharing my apple. It was like my brain shut down.
“They may be called does, but I was the dodo. As soon as she finished, she laughed and ran away. Probably looking for another stupid buck with a piece…
