Fiction

Värmland Is Blue And So Am I

By Travel Reporter Gifford Packedbags

Wall photo: janewalshe • Poster: Public Domain • Edited by Mark Starlin

-1928-

In the Scandinavian country of Sweden, there exists a fantastic place. A place unlike any other on Earth. This place is called Värmland. Had I not seen it with my own eyes, I simply would not believe it exists.

I hesitate to reveal my discovery for fear it will lead to a rush of travelers, overwhelming this unspoiled mecca for tourists. But I am duty-bound by my paper to report my findings. And having grown accustomed to having a steady income I fear I must reveal its secrets.

Värmland is blue. Blue mountains of many shades surround blue fields of blue vegetation, which abut deep blue lakes. Even the rapids in the blue streams bubble a blue-tinted froth of white. All the buildings in Värmland are painted white. Värmland has a color palette of varying shades of blue speckled with white.

Animals are all white. White rabbits eat blue carrots while white squirrels eat blue acorns. All birds are bluebirds, and feast on blue seeds.

Blueberry pie is the only pie available at local inns.

How is this possible? Residents were hesitant to reveal Värmland’s secrets. And rightfully so. Undeterred, and using camouflage and subterfuge, this reporter…